Writing Your Way to “I Do”

When asking our clients about some of the most intimidating aspects of planning a wedding, 9 times out of 10 it has something to do with the ceremony. After all, it IS the most important part of the day! The celebration afterwards happens only because of what is promised, exchanged, and sealed with a kiss. With that said, it’s important to kick the event off right! Pulling tips from tradition and unique touches from your love story will be a huge hit—making the ceremony memorable, special, and worthy of the festivities that follow. Don’t know where to start? Read below for some helpful hints!


The Welcome: 

The ceremony welcome sets the tone for the rest of the event. The word choice is an important element to consider and should be appropriate for the setting of the wedding. Think about the audience, mood, and formality of the ceremony when evaluating how to greet your guests.

Giving Away of the Bride: 

The bride’s escort speaks on behalf of the bride’s family when answering: “Who gives this woman to be married to this man?”

Opening Prayer and Reading  [AND/OR] Definition of Marriage: 

This is a great opportunity to engage the audience with quotes or sayings about love and marriage. Focusing on the biblical importance of marriage, or speaking about what it means to be in a married partnership, is a great way to transition into the exchange of vows.

Short Story About the Couple’s Relationship: 

Although this is sometimes considered an optional element, it can really make the ceremony stand-out! Having a short anecdote about the two of you will connect your guests to your unique love story while “pulling at the heart strings” in a personal way.

Vow Exchange: 

You can either do the traditional “call and repeat” vows or write your own! If you choose to write your own vows, make sure that you create an outline together for each of you to abide by. It will help keep the length, content, and theme of the vows similar, while still allowing for individual reflection from each of you.

Ring Exchange: 

The ring exchange is a good time to include a blessing, a prayer, or to speak briefly about the symbolism of the rings.

Closing Prayer or Final Thoughts: 

The final thoughts should be used to excite the newlyweds & guests with well-known, encouraging sayings about love and marriage.


Announces that it is a “done deal”—“You may kiss the bride!”

Introduction of Couple: 

Marks the first opportunity for the officiant to announce the newlyweds in front of the audience before the walk down the aisle together. (Cheering and merriment to follow) 🙂



Most importantly, make the ceremony unique to the two of you! Feel free to insert songs, readings, unity ceremonies, or anything else that you envision, in the area that you feel work best for your ceremony. Have fun selecting the content and focus on the atmosphere that you want to create for you and your guests. I’ll leave you with a special note from one of our favorite officiant’s, Kevin Martin:


“It’s super important to work one-on-one with your Wedding Officiant to create the kind-of ceremony which is a beautiful reflection of “you,” and your relationship with your spouse-to-be ; all the while being in-line with your beliefs, convictions, and personalities. I find that it is of utmost importance to sit down with your Officiant and “talk content.”  Many destination brides have the opportunity to have coffee with their Officiant or Minister via a Skype meeting, or phone meeting.  One thing is for sure – ALL have envisioned their perfect wedding day, and every Minister (should) consider those they are serving, and incorporate realistic suggestions and input they receive from their Brides.

 Here are some key steps to creating your perfect ceremony:
1. Be Clear: Communicate through your vows, readings, scriptures, and other content “who” you are.  Do not use your wedding day to leverage your differences. Remember, ‘Grandma’ is there – consider what she might want to hear.
2. Say More, By Saying Less:  Gone are the days of 1 hour wedding ceremonies.  What is it you really want to proclaim?  Do that by getting rid of all the traditional wordiness and unnecessary liturgy, when this makes sense.
3. Flow is Everything:  Your Ceremony needs to have a beginning, a plateau, and an end.  Your wedding day should move like a really awesome movie.  People need to get up and say, “that was awesome!” versus “so glad that is over; where are the hors d’ouervres and beverages?”
4. Connect: Ensure your Officiant connects with your honored guests – parents, grandmothers, bridal parties, and any others who are set-apart – DURING the ceremony.  Even if briefly, this creates a communal feel which will be appreciated.
5. Touch the Hearts:  All guests and family members who attend your Wedding Ceremony need to feel touched to the core of their being.  Remembering that all in attendance are in various seasons of life.   I have created a delivery and some key points which allow the newly marrieds to clench hands as they witness the ceremony, as well as tapping into those who have been married for longer than I have been alive.  Touch all – and your wedding day will be a magnificent, unforgettable experience.”

Love Kevin’s suggestions/ideas as much as we do? Find out how he can be a part of your big day at:



Happy Writing!




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