Maid or Matron of Honor: What to do!?

The title of Maid or Matron of Honor comes with just that.  Honor!  You’ve been chosen by the bride to be by her side on one of the biggest day of her life.  It means that the bride trusts you as her right-hand woman, sounding board, counselor, court jester, and overall support system throughout the planning process and the wedding day itself.   It also means that you are now in charge of certain obligations like planning the bachelorette party and making sure the rest of the bridesmaids are on the same page with wedding day attire, shower dates, and bachelorette party activities.  That’s a lot of responsibility!


Traditionally speaking, the duties of Maid and/or Matron of Honor are:

  • Organize a shower and bachelorette party
  • Witness the marriage license
  • Hold the bride’s bouquet and the groom’s wedding band during the ceremony
  • Arrange the bride’s train and veil
  • Make a toast at the reception; and
  • To be the “Lead Bridesmaid” for all wedding party activities


I am learning that the role of Maid of Honor isn’t as simple as a few bullet points!  I’ll give you the example of my Matron of Honor (my best friend who just happened to marry my brother a few years ago making her officially my sister!), Whitney.  Initially, I thought I simply needed her to take care of the bachelorette party, maybe a bridal shower, and just being my go-to lady on my wedding day.  Boy, was I wrong.  She has proven to be so much more already!  She has taken the initiative on setting bridal salon appointments for our NYC dress shopping trip, has already asked for all the bridesmaid contact info to keep them on track, and has started asking me questions about what I’d like for the bachelorette party.  On top of that, she has sent me countless emails with dress inspirations and ideas for the bridesmaid dresses, written with hilarious commentary about how the models look hungry, and, honestly, deceased.  My favorite line was, paired with the scary image below, “I’m just so hungry…but so pretty – no other bride will ever look like this.”

So Hungry...

It just so happened that the email came at a time when I really needed a laugh.  We are still in the very early stages of wedding planning but I already know it’s going to be a perfect day with Whitney by my side.

From a bride’s point of view, I’ve learned that when choosing your maid or matron of honor, it’s imperative that your MOH brings out the best in you.  Your maid or matron of honor will be with you from the first mimosa of the day to the last good-bye before your exit with your new husband and every moment in between. If you tend to be high-strung, choose a good friend or relative that knows how to bring your stress from a level-10 emergency to a more tolerable level-4… whether it’s with a laugh, calm words of advice, or a nice stiff drink.  If you tend to be laid-back (sometimes to a fault), choose someone who will keep you on track and take control when necessary to get things done.  Most importantly, make sure you appreciate everything that person has done and will continue to do for you.  It’s a big job to take on and with emotions running high on your wedding day, you’ll want your MOH to know you wouldn’t be able to do it without her.



– Kate


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