Style Guide: What to Wear!

If you’re like me, phrases like Black Tie Optional and Beachy Casual are vague enough to leave me wondering what’s appropriate.  Fearful of being overdressed, or even worse, underdressed, it’s sometimes difficult to gauge what to wear.  As if picking your outfit for a special occasion isn’t difficult enough, that tricky little line at the bottom of the invitation can easily throw you into a tizzy.  Does Black Tie Optional mean a tux without a tie?  Can I wear khaki shorts to a Beachy Casual soiree?  General rules like “don’t wear white” and “no jeans” are fairly common knowledge at this point but after that, the lines are blurred.

Alas!  I’ve outlined the most common style-labels and what’s appropriate for each, just for you!

1.  White Tie:  Think Oscars or a White House Gala.  White Tie is the most formal of the formal when it comes to weddings.  Women wear long, elegant, floor-length gowns in either brown or black.  Accessories can be extravagant, with a sophisticated up-do and glamorous makeup.  Men should arrive in a black tux with a long jacket with tails.  Black patent leather shoes, a black or white vest and bow tie complete the accessories.  For the ultimate formal event, be sure to bring white gloves for dancing!

2.  Black Tie:  A step down from White Tie but nonetheless formal, Black Tie is one of the most common wedding attire styles.  Men should wear a tuxedo with either a bow tie or normal tie, with a cumberbund, and formal black leather shoes.  Women stick to a floor-length gown in either black or brown but keep the jewelry simple with classic hair and makeup.

3.  Black Tie Optional or Formal Attire:  Keeping it classy, men should don a tuxedo (if he’s feeling fancy) or a formal, dark suit and tie.  A white or colored shirt can be worn with the suit and tie.  For daytime affiairs, brown shoes are acceptable while black shoes and accessories are appropriate for evening soirees.  Ladies should opt for a long dress for an evening wedding but a formal cocktail-length dress in a dark or neutral tone is totally appropriate for daytime.

4.  Beachy-Casual or Garden Party:  Considering we live at the beach, beachy-casual is a fairly common style around here.  This is not a free pass for men to wear unpressed khakis, a button-down shirt that’s unbuttoned a little-too-far, and flip flops.  Be respectful that it is a very special occasion and men should consider wear a linen or tan suit and tie.  Closed-toed shoes for men are always the better choice…  For ladies, a cocktail-style dress or skirt and blouse can be worn with flats or a strappy sandal.  Match the colors with the season and time of day.  Bold patterns and bright colors are perfect for daytime events while a more jewel-toned dress is appropriate for night-time.

5.  Casual:  Although you may take this to mean a pair of jeans and boat shoes, keep in mind you’re attending a wedding.  Again, keep perspective on this very special day and dress respectfully.  Ladies should consider a sundress in the spring and summer months or a cocktail-style dress in a jewel tone for the winter.  Men should don pressed slacks or khakis, a button-down shirt and tie. If you arrive and feel over-dressed, simply remove the tie and unbutton the top shirt button if you have an undershirt on.  Remember, no one likes to see crazy chest hair trying to escape your shirt!  Keep footwear conservative, meaning no flip flops or sandals for men.  Boat shoes or loafers are completely appropriate for men while women should keep the heel height under 3″.

It is always a good rule of thumb to over dress rather than underdress.  You never want to find yourself in a pair of unpressed cargo pants among a crowd of sophisticated dark suits and ties…

Happy outfitting!

-Kate

The Seating Arrangement

One of the most complicated and daunting tasks of planning the wedding reception is organizing the seating arrangement of the guests. With family drama, different friend groups, and etiquette issues dictating the table assignments, there can be a lot to balance and consider when completing this task. However, it is usually well worth your while to diligently consider the comfort of your guests while taking on this project.

Do You Need a Seating Arrangement?

YES. Yes. Yes. Yes. And yes…in my opinion, anyway. If you are having more than fifty guests, it is usually expected that a seating arrangement will be provided (unless you are having a social, cocktail-style reception without seating for everyone). It can be awkward for guests to wander around in search of available chairs in an area & group that they’re comfortable sitting with. Having the seating chart will ensure that all of your guests feel at-ease as they enter into your reception. They will realize that they’ve been placed at their table with intention-making them feel like you’ve thoughtfully taken care of them throughout the evening.

 

Reminder: If you are having a cocktail-style reception, remember this: Don’t have any assigned tables. It’s okay to reserve a table or two for the family, bridal party, and elderly; however, you really shouldn’t make escort cards for some people, and not for others. If a few guests are “assigned” a seat, and others are not, you could hurt feelings and send the wrong message to those without designated seats. Instead, just put a “Reserved for Bridal Party” or “Reserved for Family” sign on a few tables, and leave the rest as temporary seating for guests to “touch-and-go” throughout the evening. Having a sign upon entry into the reception that explains your seating (or lack of seating) plan will help guests understand that they’re suppose to mix and mingle all night long!

Where Should My Bridal Party Sit?

This depends on the size of your bridal party, including their guests (spouse, children). Having them sit with you & your spouse at one large table is a great way to acknowledge their important role throughout the entire event. However, if your bridal party is too large to make that happen, you can certainly assign them to designated tables that are reserved for bridal party members only, placed closely to the sweetheart table. It’s nice to group the bridal party together-in one way or the other- to unify the members of the wedding that are closest to you.

My Example: I have ten bridesmaids & ten groomsmen in my upcoming wedding so one large table will not be an option for us. However, I have arranged that my “groom-to-be” & I will sit with our immediate family members, and our bridal party will be sitting together at nearby tables.

Things to Consider

-Divorced Couples & Exes

As much as you’d like for everyone to “play nice” for a few hours, this is not the time to force the issue. Nor is it the appropriate time to make assumptions about how peaceful other people’s relationships are. If your family has dealt with divorce, it is a good idea to let each person “head” a different table, in order to make everyone feel comfortable.

-Friend Groups

Although it is a good idea to primarily keep friend groups seated closely together, it is also a fun way to introduce friends that you’ve always wanted to meet! Place people together who have similar interests & backgrounds, and be thoughtful about where you would want to sit, if you were that person.

-The Floor Plan

Make sure that you are familiar with the location of each of the tables that have been set on your floor plan. You want to take walls, pillars, and balconies, into consideration when placing each group at their designated table. If there is a balcony, that could be a great place to put young groups of friends; if there is a pillar or wall, make sure that the tables in that area still have a visual on the rest of the reception area.  Knowing your space will help you to accommodate each table in the best way possible.

Get to Work!

Now that you have the advice, it’s time to get started! The best way to tackle this is to get out your post-its (one color for the groom’s family & friends/one color for the bride’s family & friends), so that you’re able to visually place and relocate people interactively, with ease. Put each name from your guest list on a post-it and begin grouping people together into table formations. Before you know it, you’ll have the perfect plan for your seating arrangement!

-Sally

http://www.kickstandevents.com

Changing your name from Ms. to Mrs.

Now that the dust has settled and things are getting more back to normal (besides getting used to calling Nick my husband), I spent some time changing my name and getting that straightened out.  There are a few places I haven’t changed my name, but here are the basics for North Carolina:

1. Facebook.  This is a must!  Joking…kinda.

The real #1…

1. Your local Social Security Office

One thing you need to remember when changing your name is to bring your marriage license with you everywhere. You can’t change your name in most places, even the bank, without it.  So, bring your marriage license, your social security card, and several forms of ID.

I brought the marriage license, driver’s license, passport, birth certificate, and my social security card.  I didn’t want to be without some weird form of ID that I needed…I wasn’t going to go back there again!  I sat in the Social Security Office (which, by the way, isn’t filled with newly married women wanting to change their name…I’ll let you figure out the rest) for about 20 minutes then just told them what I wanted my name to be changed to and they sent a new social security card in the mail.  Once you have that…

2. Go to the DMV.

Again, bring your marriage license!  You get your marriage license in the mail after you have sent in the one you signed on your wedding day.  The DMV is where you will change your driver’s license so you can get all the rest of your personal things changed.  It’s $10 for a replacement ID (check or cash only!) and yay a new picture!  This time, they sent it in the mail again so you will need to wait a few days to change your name everywhere else.

3. Go to the bank.

If you want your new name to be on your debit, credit, and other bank cards, you’ll need to go to the bank with your new ID and yep, you guessed it, your marriage license.  They send these cards in the mail as well, so hold your horses on changing all of your online payments.  I would also recommend ordering new checks (if you are joining bank accounts) to have your name on them as well as your new husband’s.

4. Change miscellaneous account names.

This one is easy, it is simple to change your name on your utilities, Costco accounts, even some credit cards, just a click of a button or going into the store!

The one I haven’t done yet is the passport…which seems like a lengthy process, but I will keep you updated on this one!  I hope this helps!!

Courtney Stone

info {at} kickstandevents {dot} com

Celebrate Memorial Day!

What better way to welcome the summer season than to host a Memorial Day party for your closest pals?!  

Here’s a quick guide to help with choosing the main elements for your seaside fete!

Invitations:

Keep them simple.  Give your guests the necessary information… what the event is, when and where it will take place… and you can leave it at that.  You may want to make a note as to the dress and the menu –  Lobster Boil, for example — so guests are comfortable and have the chance to alert you if they have a shellfish or other food allergy related to the menu. There’s nothing worse than a guest who can’t enjoy the food because of an unknown food allergy!

Menu:

It’s always a good idea to keep the menu consistent with the setting.  If you’re hosting an outdoor, seaside event, think of a Low-Country or Lobster Boil, with fresh & local Lobsters, Clams, and Oysters.  Keep in mind some of your guests may not like seafood so consider throwing a couple marinated jerk chicken, burgers, and hot dogs on the grill as well.

YUM!

Holiday-themed drinks and desserts are always a fun addition to the party.  Adding fresh blueberries and strawberries to Strawberry spritzers is a great way to incorporate the good ole’ red, white & blue colors without being too theme-y

Fruit-filled paper cones are not only delicious but make a great serve-yourself display!

You could even give them the option to add them to shortcake or just top with some whipped cream!

Decor:

When I think of a casual, coastal fete, I immediately think of lobster red, cobalt blue glassware, brown kraft paper or newspaper, and crisp organic linens!

Consider using a gingham check linen or even just brown kraft paper to cover the tables for a laid-back, casual feeling.   Keep the decor to a minimum and focus on the food!  Blue pots of lobsters and galvanized bins to hold corn cobs, new potatoes, and cobalt glassware will really pop off of brown kraft paper or newspaper table coverings.  Feel free to bring in lanterns or decorative rope accents to keep your seaside theme consistent.

Entertainment:

Keeping with the coastal, outdoor theme, I love the idea of having lawn games setup for your guests to play.  Croquet, Bocce, and even  lawn bowling are great games to have for guests of all ages!

Hiring live performers can really turn your shindig into a real party!  Consider hiring a two-piece band to provide soft music during dinner and crank it up afterwards to promote a party-feeling that everyone will want to be a part of!   From beach music to jazz, music can really set the tone for your event.

Have a great Memorial Day weekend and we’ll see you on the flip-side!

Cheers!

-Kate

The Final Stretch of Wedding Planning

Last night, I woke up in a sweat after having a ridiculous “nightmare”. Not that I was being chased…not that I was in danger…not that I was in some kind of embarrassing social situation…

I dreamt about the escort card display at my wedding.

 Terrifying, huh?

This week marks the halfway point to my wedding day, and I couldn’t feel more excited and happy that it is quickly approaching! However, this period of the engagement has also presented bouts of stress about the tasks ahead (as revealed in my dream). Now that the past six months have been spent organizing logistics, selecting vendors, and brainstorming décor; I look onward to the next half of my engagement and realize that I have decisions to make & massive tasks to complete. Yes…one of them being my escort card display…

Regardless of how long your engagement is, I thought I’d offer some advice on what you should be doing with the last half portion of your planning time.

Confirm What You Know:

- Touch base with your vendors: At this point, you likely have a good idea about your event timeline, floor plan, rain plan, and vendor list. With that said, it is now an appropriate time to touch base with your vendors to talk about the details & confirm the plans you’ve already made. Discussing rental items, the event timeline, the floor plan, the menu/music/décor selections, etc, will give you a calming sense that everyone is on the same page at this point.

-Update your registry & wedding website: You always want to ensure that the information you are publishing for guests is accurate and up to date. Now is a good time to double check your details before directing guests to your informative wedding site & registry.

Decide on Décor:

-Just Choose: This is where I am having difficulty lately…I’ve seen so many beautiful weddings and brainstormed so many ideas that I’m now having trouble just saying “yes” or “no” to each décor element I imagine. However, NOW is the time to make decisions about décor. Procrastination will only cause more stress, and ultimately delay the inevitable decisions that need to be made anyway. Focus on spending your décor budget on things that will align with your overall vision and make a memorable impact for your guests. There is no right or wrong decision to make…it’s your wedding and your choices…just have fun actually making them now!

*Still need help deciding? Turn to your wedding professionals for advice! They’ve seen hundreds of successful events and would be happy to offer the guidance you may need.

Send Invitations:

-Save the dates: These should be sent out about 6 months in advance of your wedding day. Just ensure that it directs guests to your wedding website so that they have the information they’ll need to book accommodations and make their plans for your big day!

-Invitations: Ideally, these should be sent out about 2 months before the wedding. This will give your guests plenty of time to respond, and your vendors can comfortably finalize plans based on your expected headcount.

*Make sure you send the rehearsal dinner invitations about 6 weeks in advance of the wedding weekend.

Rally the Troops:

-The Attire: With half of your engagement remaining, you still have plenty of time to check-in with your bridal party and ensure that they are on track with providing their assigned wedding attire (shoes & accessories included). Let them know about any hair & makeup services they can take advantage as well.

*In fact, this is a great task to give to your Maid of Honor/Best Man!

 -The Gifts: Selecting and assembling gifts for your bridal party and family members can take up a lot of time and energy! In order to make it meaningful and thoughtful, go ahead and order their gifts early so that you have plenty of time to prepare them. Your bridal party and family deserve a well planned gift for all of their support along the way!

-The Agenda: One of the most important aspects of planning the wedding is coordinating the people around you. By finalizing a wedding weekend agenda, your bridal party & family members will be organized and informed about what to expect for the weekend. Giving each of them an agenda that outlines what, when, where, why, and how, will minimize any questions you need to deal with as the wedding nears.

Last (but certainly not least), make sure that you enjoy every possible second with your fiancé. There is only a short amount of time that you two will hold that title, so don’t let the tasks ahead overwhelm or shadow this exciting time in your relationship. By staying productive, diligent, and rational about the importance of the tasks ahead, you will enter into your marriage with a positive, stress-free outlook that every bride deserves.

So sweet dreams to all of you brides out there! And happy planning!

-Sally

www.kickstandevents.com

Courtney’s Honeymoon in Saint Lucia

Hello everyone!  My wedding has come and gone–what a wild ride it was!  I can’t wait to share photos with you!  For now, I want to give some tips and my suggestions for honeymooning, whether it be Saint Lucia or any other place you haven’t visited before!

Use passport covers.  One of our dear friends gave us “his & hers” passport covers, mine was white and his was black, for our honeymoon.  At first, Nick thought they were silly, but the more often we had to use them, the easier it was to determine mine and his.  I would just look in my bag for the white passport and it was so quick and easy!  I highly recommend identifying your passport vs. your husband’s!

Carry small bills.  If you are going to a country that has a foreign currency, I recommend getting small bills, like 1, 5, 10 and keeping them in the main part of your wallet and putting larger bills folded in a smaller part.  That way, when you are taking a taxi, buying street food, or even paying for transportation, you don’t attract attention with your $100 US dollars.

Spin your rings around whenever possible.  Even if your wedding rings don’t have diamonds (or other precious stones) all the way around, I would recommend turning your rings upside down so the less expensive side of the rings is showing to the world.  The biggest reason is to not attract attention.  If you are sitting on the beach with a big honkin’ ring shining for all the vendors to see, you will get a lot more attention, i.e. people coming up to you trying to sell you stuff.  This worked great for me, I just spun my rings around every time I was on the beach and it made me feel more safe.  On that same note, the safest place for your wedding rings is on your hand.  I know the hotel room probably has a safe, but I am not very trusting of those things.  Your hand is always the best place to keep your rings!

Pack a swim suit in your carry-on or personal bag.  This seems like a no-brainer, but we put our swim suits in our carry on and the plane was so packed with carry-ons that we actually ended up having to check our carry-on bag.  So we were left without swim suits.  Nick brought a back pack, so we should have put them in there so we could have gone straight to the pool when we arrived in Saint Lucia!

Bring a baseball hat. We did a few excursions while on our trip, one of them being zip lining.  If you weren’t wearing a baseball hat, you had to wear a hair net.  Ew.  I should have brought my dang baseball hat!

When planning for excursions & activities, book those in the mornings.  It worked out perfectly that we had our excursions in the morning and the afternoon for eating and laying on the beach.  I would highly recommend doing all of your activities in the morning to leave the afternoon to drink cocktails on the beach!

When possible, eat like the locals do.  My favorite food, by far, was at a fish shack on the beach that had a bunch of locals.  You’ll always find the local cuisine to be much better than anything frozen from the resort or popular chain restaurants.  The owner of the fish shack even gave us some of her secret seasonings!

Ta ta for now!

Courtney

Veil Style

If you’ve ever watched Say Yes To The Dress, you know that the bride often doesn’t feel bridal until Randy “jacks her up” with the appropriate veil.  Although the term could use a little tweaking, the sentiment is true.  The veil, in my opinion, is the frosting on the cake, rendering the bridal look incomplete without it!  With so many different dress styles available, it can be a little overwhelming when choosing the right veil.  The term you need to keep in mind when shopping for a veil is balance.  The veil should not only balance the shape of your face, it also needs to balance with the style of your dress.  A full, stiffer veil will round out a narrow face, while a soft, fluid veil will help soften sharp facial features.  Going with a big, voluminous hairstyle?  Try a simple, fluid veil that rests on the back of your head so it doesn’t compete with your hair’s statement.

Here are some of the more popular veil options!

1.  Birdcage:  Vintage-inspired that works with almost any dress style but best complements a tailored, form-fitting style.

2.  Blusher:  Traditional 2-layer veil with a short tier that covers your face before the ceremony.

3.  Fingertip:  Falls just to your fingertips and can include a blusher element.

4.  Mantilla:  Traditional Spanish veil that is pinned to the crown of your head to showcase the lace-edged details

5.  Chapel or Sweep:  Just shorter than a Cathedral Veil at about 90″, this is one of the more dramatic veil options.  Works best with a shorter train, extending just beyond the edge of the train.

Just as you balance your veil with your facial features and hairstyle, also consider how to balance the length and style of the veil with your dress.  Does your dress have a long train?  Go with either a short veil that doesn’t touch the floor or one that extends beyond the train.  Anything in the middle may create a choppy silhouette without definition.

The origin of wedding veils range from protecting the bride from evil forces in Greek and Roman times, preventing grooms from changing their mind when they saw the bride for the first time in early European arranged marriages, and even to support modesty in the Jewish tradition.  Nowadays, it’s an optional element that is worn for reasons beyond necessity — modesty, ties to family tradition, protection from evil, or simply for the sake of fashion.  Whatever your reason, take your time finding the right veil for your big day and remember… balance!

Have a great Derby Weekend!

Kate